Scott what a beautiful soul searched message about relationships and marriage your Substack delivers this week. As a woman married to the same man for 59 years, I can attest to the fact that this thing called marriage is a lifelong endeavor no matter how long you are married. Growth, maturation, adjustment, forgiveness and acceptance never ends….if it does the relationship becomes an existence. As the song says “ life is not tried, it is merely survived if you’re standing outside the fire.” Like most young couples we had no clue what a real life learning experience we were about to begin. Thank goodness we didn’t reject those sometimes difficult lessons. You are also correct about that luck part! I’m one lucky girl. I married a wonderful young man then as well as now.
Keep up your good work and the care you have given to so many of us post “shot” debacle.
Thank you Eileen for reading, your kind words, and sharing about your own marriage. The work of relationship would appear to never stop, but change. As we get older, I experience more gratitude for the time we have had together, the end of our lives approaching faster, and the inspiration to be present.
I love reading your Substack. It’s been such an honor to get to know you, work with you and learn from you. You are an amazing man and one of the best clinicians I know. Thank you for all you have taught me and continue to teach me, your patience with me and encouragement. And most of all for renewing my faith in medical professionals. I can know say there are good doctors and clinicians out there because you and Pierre are two of the best.
Thank you Tisha. You are the heart and mind of our practice, a real human being, leading a growing team of fellow human beings, to change the world for the better, one person at a time.
Happy anniversary, Scott, and best wishes for many more. Almost 22 years for me and my wife; we just became empty-nesters, so your post was a great reminder for me to refocus on our relationship all over again. I agree on arguments; neither of us like them, but I can’t imagine a worthy relationship without a few impassioned disagreements!
I so enjoy to read of your life lessons & kernels of wisdom popped in along the way, Scott. Thank you for taking the time to reflect & share here. Wise for all of us to appreciate the “now.”
September 12 th will be 54 years married with my friend of 60 years. After love and forgiveness, I do think honesty is foundational.
thank you Scott, we like to hear of your long time rare marriage. 43 yrs for us.
You are quite a character and a smart one at that. Sometimes we chuckle at your stories and then you toss a gem of knowledge in...is great. never heard of baobab tea.
Most importantly, prayers for your patient and their family. Your wisdom is always uplifting. You have been given quite a gift, not only in your writing skills, but in your clinical skills.
You and Pierre have a thirst for knowledge And thank you for sharing them with us.
So much insight and wisdom from my friend and colleague Scott. By the way, alcohol after a night shift is no problem. I worked that shift in hospital for a few years in Elizabeth, NJ. A bar across the street opened every day at 7 AM; I enjoyed beer with some nurses who invariably knocked back shots of whiskey. Different levels of stress...
Thanks, Scott (and Kerrie.) That's a straightforward and sweet tribute to the journey of coupledom. I'm so very sorry to learn of the death of the husband of your patient, and send along my deepest condolences for the devastating tragedy of what occurred in the flash of a moment.
I think two things have helped my wife and I grow and learn through our relationship over the years. (We celebrated our 43rd anniversary last Thursday.)
1. A mutual commitment to working things out when they get challenging. Not every partner is willing to do this in every relationship, but knowing that each of the 2 partners has made such a commitment, whether in their guts or verbalized it, helps weather to hard times because each person knows they are not alone in choosing to work toward some solution. It says to the other: "I'm not giving up in this moment, even though I sure feel like it because I'm exasperated, and I know you are with me in that decision."
2. A foundation of extending *respect* to the other person, even when we don't feel like it, when we are so annoyed, etc. Somehow, respecting another person creates a human common denominator to build upon, and allows me to actually listen from that place of being a 'basic human being with foibles, and you are just like me - so I respect you,' and again, not give up in the moment when it feels easiest to do so.
Happy 27th anniversary to you both as of May - and many happy returns.
Scott what a beautiful soul searched message about relationships and marriage your Substack delivers this week. As a woman married to the same man for 59 years, I can attest to the fact that this thing called marriage is a lifelong endeavor no matter how long you are married. Growth, maturation, adjustment, forgiveness and acceptance never ends….if it does the relationship becomes an existence. As the song says “ life is not tried, it is merely survived if you’re standing outside the fire.” Like most young couples we had no clue what a real life learning experience we were about to begin. Thank goodness we didn’t reject those sometimes difficult lessons. You are also correct about that luck part! I’m one lucky girl. I married a wonderful young man then as well as now.
Keep up your good work and the care you have given to so many of us post “shot” debacle.
Er.
Thank you Eileen for reading, your kind words, and sharing about your own marriage. The work of relationship would appear to never stop, but change. As we get older, I experience more gratitude for the time we have had together, the end of our lives approaching faster, and the inspiration to be present.
I love reading your Substack. It’s been such an honor to get to know you, work with you and learn from you. You are an amazing man and one of the best clinicians I know. Thank you for all you have taught me and continue to teach me, your patience with me and encouragement. And most of all for renewing my faith in medical professionals. I can know say there are good doctors and clinicians out there because you and Pierre are two of the best.
Thank you Tisha. You are the heart and mind of our practice, a real human being, leading a growing team of fellow human beings, to change the world for the better, one person at a time.
Happy anniversary, Scott, and best wishes for many more. Almost 22 years for me and my wife; we just became empty-nesters, so your post was a great reminder for me to refocus on our relationship all over again. I agree on arguments; neither of us like them, but I can’t imagine a worthy relationship without a few impassioned disagreements!
Thank you Scott, for another inspiring article! I always enjoy what you write!
I so enjoy to read of your life lessons & kernels of wisdom popped in along the way, Scott. Thank you for taking the time to reflect & share here. Wise for all of us to appreciate the “now.”
September 12 th will be 54 years married with my friend of 60 years. After love and forgiveness, I do think honesty is foundational.
God Bless us all! ❤️🙏
Congratulations Nama, and thank you for reading.
thank you Scott, we like to hear of your long time rare marriage. 43 yrs for us.
You are quite a character and a smart one at that. Sometimes we chuckle at your stories and then you toss a gem of knowledge in...is great. never heard of baobab tea.
Scott,
Most importantly, prayers for your patient and their family. Your wisdom is always uplifting. You have been given quite a gift, not only in your writing skills, but in your clinical skills.
You and Pierre have a thirst for knowledge And thank you for sharing them with us.
So much insight and wisdom from my friend and colleague Scott. By the way, alcohol after a night shift is no problem. I worked that shift in hospital for a few years in Elizabeth, NJ. A bar across the street opened every day at 7 AM; I enjoyed beer with some nurses who invariably knocked back shots of whiskey. Different levels of stress...
Thank you
Thanks, Scott (and Kerrie.) That's a straightforward and sweet tribute to the journey of coupledom. I'm so very sorry to learn of the death of the husband of your patient, and send along my deepest condolences for the devastating tragedy of what occurred in the flash of a moment.
I think two things have helped my wife and I grow and learn through our relationship over the years. (We celebrated our 43rd anniversary last Thursday.)
1. A mutual commitment to working things out when they get challenging. Not every partner is willing to do this in every relationship, but knowing that each of the 2 partners has made such a commitment, whether in their guts or verbalized it, helps weather to hard times because each person knows they are not alone in choosing to work toward some solution. It says to the other: "I'm not giving up in this moment, even though I sure feel like it because I'm exasperated, and I know you are with me in that decision."
2. A foundation of extending *respect* to the other person, even when we don't feel like it, when we are so annoyed, etc. Somehow, respecting another person creates a human common denominator to build upon, and allows me to actually listen from that place of being a 'basic human being with foibles, and you are just like me - so I respect you,' and again, not give up in the moment when it feels easiest to do so.
Happy 27th anniversary to you both as of May - and many happy returns.
It's very sweet to read your thoughts Mike. Thank you for your condolences. Happy Anniversary to you and Carrie!
Another wonderful Substack Scott!!